Fit & Fab or Fat & Flab?

Posted on February 28th, 2012, by iMinerva

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It’s the worst time of the year – Bathing Suit Season!

Getting ready for a mini-vacation to visit friends in Florida and the reality of winter has hit. Nothing fits – really nothing!  Last year’s shorts & crop pants have shrunk and my swimsuits are shreiking at my new batch of cellulite.  I’m not sure the vacation is worth the severe funk I’m going through.  There better be lots of sunshine and margaritas to soothe my frazzled – and fat – soul.

A shopping trip for a fresh new wardrobe – usually a much-anticipated adventure – has landed me deeper in depression.  Who designs those frightening fitting rooms?  The mirrors are from old fun houses and on every wall to show every apalling angle, and the lighting glares like a scene from a horror film.  Absolutely nothing makes me look 20 pounds thinner or 20 years younger.

Tim Gunn – Where are you???  I need an emergency makeover – a drastic Revolution!!!

We all know I started off the year thinking I could change my old habits.  I joined the health club and bought carrots and V-8.  So far this year, I’ve hit the gym three times (not bad for two months), thrown out the carrots and had a can of V-8 just yesterday.  The plane leaves on Sunday – that’s just 5 days.   Getting a haircut on Saturday but that won’t cut enough from my weigh-in. 

I’ve just ordered a new swimsuit, oversized cover-up and crop pants from Lands End online (no mirrors or fitting rooms) and paid extra for express shipping.  Refuse to try them on until Florida but packing wisely with lots of large, flowy tops and loose sundresses. 

The only thing I’m comfortable with are the cute flipflops I bought.  I shaved my toe hairs this morning (disgusting) and am getting a pedi on Friday.  So if I can just keep the focus on my feet, I might be okay.

The saving grace of my vacation meltdown is – I’m visiting friends who are nice people.  We’ll spend time walking the beach so I’ll get my exercise.  And, they’ve made reservations at some wonderful restaurants so we can celebrate our time together and forget about the funk of Fat & Flab.  Bon Appetit!

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One Response to “Fit & Fab or Fat & Flab?”

  1. Kay P. says:

    Speaking with total objectivity, I shared time on the beach w/Ms. iMinerva on said beach….and may I just comment that there were no stares, no pointing of fingers, no gasps. Frankly, everyone is too worried about their own looks to notice those around them. I believe Ms. iMinerva is much too self-critical and hard on herself. We all must cease being so hard on ourselves. Isn’t healthy.

    Gotta go….my outfit isn’t right today, my hair didn’t come out the way it should, too much of my upper arms are showing….I have a meeting in 5 minutes. Yikes!!!

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