Taking Care of Mom?

Posted on August 2nd, 2011, by iMinerva

Taking Care of Mom

 I had a wonderful evening last weekend with friends I hadn’t seen in years.  I loved how the conversation just picked right up with old stories of our shared work experiences along with new updates on kids, grandkids, and parents.

The “parent” conversation was a deep discussion filled with challenges, frustrations, fears and anger – along with a few funny sidelines on parents and dating.  For all of my friends, the transition from being the child to being the parent of the parent is a path filled with landmines. 

How do you take away dad’s car keys? 

How do you convince the folks it’s time to move to a senior community?  And once they do, how do you help them adjust to their new lifestyle?

How do you manage – or maneuver – when mom sees only the dark side of her life and is unwilling to accept help from others – only you can meet her needs? 

What can you do as dad’s memory and comprehension begins to fail?

How do you manage the guilt you feel over the responsibility – and burden – thrust upon you to care for your aging folks?

How do you plan so that your children are not placed in this role when you become feeble and fragile?

How do you keep from screaming?

 We shared stories along with some advice on strategies and resources.  Most importantly – since there aren’t any perfect answers and certainly not a roadmap for this journey – we shared the experience. 

 As one friend said as the evening ended, “It’s really helpful to know I’m not alone in this and that I’m not being the Bad Guy.  I’m trying to do what’s best for the folks but it’s not always what they want or what they view as the ‘best’ course.  It’s sometimes the necessary course.”

I’d love to hear your experiences, advice, and resources.  Please share your thoughts with all of us at iMinerva.

 

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